Stink Boy Hates Cool Uptown Fun


Stubble: How would you describe who you are in Uptown?
Stink Boy: Not anybody. I live there. I’ve lived there for like three years. I am a server at Pizza Luce. Nothing too special.

Stubble: But you’re not someone who went to the big pool party at Flux yesterday?
Stink Boy: No. I don’t even know how to get to those parties. How do I get to those parties? A part of me wants to know.

Stubble: How did you hear about this party?
Stink Boy: A friend and I were biking and we just heard it from a fucking mile away. It was so loud. It was so loud. I have never heard anything that loud before in Uptown. It was like south Minneapolis might as well be south LA.

Stubble: You sound a little put off by it. A little upset.
Stink Boy: It was a little off putting.

Stubble: Why?
Stink Boy: I don’t know, it was just weird. It was a weird thing to see for the area. There might have been a little bit of jealousy involved, that I wasn’t invited to be honest.

Stubble: How have you seen Uptown changing?
Stink Boy: If you’ve ever been to Hennepin-Lake on a weekend night, it’s crazy. Definitely very bro-y. I like Lyn-Lake though, but they’re putting up all of those apartments over there now so we’ll see how that goes. I feel like it’s not full up yet, they’re still building them. We’ll see in the next year or so. It scares me.

Stubble: What would you say to everyone at the pool party?
Stink Boy: Good on you for having happiness, but invite me next time.

Stubble: I think I heard you say earlier that seeing the party made you want to move.
Stink Boy: Maybe, I mean I did say that. I probably won’t move. I like Uptown still. It’s a great place. It just shocked me, you know? I was offended by the loud music.

Stubble: You could just be getting more crotchety in old age.
Stink Boy: I think the exclusiveness bothered me the most. It just isn’t fair you know. Whatever, I don’t live over there so as long as I don’t have to listen to it. Invite me next time, though. I’ll bring Bud Light Clamatos and Beergaritas.

Joseph works at Pizza Luce. The party that miffed him took place at Flux.stinkyboy2

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