[Reported by Cody Swede]
Stubble: What is “Bob” and the Church of the SubGenius?
Reverend Stang: The answer to all the questions that haven’t been asked yet.
Stubble: Who are you?
Reverend Stang: I am merely a faceless servant of “Bob.” He promised me a face.
Stubble: So, are you like… the Pope then?
Reverend Stang: The Church of the SubGenius has so many Popes that it renders the very concept of Popehood meaningless.
Stubble: How did you get involved in spreading the Word of “Bob”?
Reverend Stang: The year was 1977. I was stuck in Dallas, Texas with nothing to listen to but Dallas A.M. radio. That should explain everything.
Stubble: Any juicy details about J.R. “Bob” Dobbs you’d like to share?
Reverend Stang: He can grow as many dicks as he wants.
Stubble: I hear a lot of pretty famous people were SubGeniuses at some point. Care to name names?
Reverend Stang: Most of them have recanted and now deny “Bob,” but the ones from whom we have radio promos or blurbs on the backs of our books are Robert Crumb, Ren and Stimpy, Timothy Leary, The Firesign Theatre, Ken Kesey, the late Presidential candidate Pat Paulsen, the painter Robert Williams, the original members of DEVO, and Robert Anton Wilson. PeeWee put “Bob’s” famous portrait on the wall of his Playhouse for the first season on CBS.
Stubble: What does it take to become a SubGenius, and what are the benefits?
Reverend Stang: $35 to subgenius.com, and you might finally get laid.
Stubble: That seems pretty reasonable actually. Have you seen what the Catholics are charging these days?
Reverend Stang: No; I thought they were free. I hear al Queda’s lowered their rate to only $34.95 though.
Stubble: Any misconceptions out there about SubGeniuses?
Reverend Stang: That’s pretty much ALL there is.
Stubble: Have you had any experiences that have reaffirmed your faith?
Reverend Stang: Every time I check Paypal or our Post Office box, and there’s another $35.
Stubble: How should I practice my faith at home… possibly in a terrible place like Dallas, Texas?
Reverend Stang: Instead of Dallas AM radio, listen to The Hour of Slack — which has done much better since moving from Dallas to Cleveland.
Stubble: What is Slack, and how do I get it?
Reverend Stang: That’s the ONLY part you have to figure out for yourself. Slack won’t do you any good if somebody else is deciding what it is for you. That would be False Slack. The only true Slack is the Slack you find yourself. You probably already have tons of it but aren’t appreciating it enough yet.